We all like to avoid unpleasant fights and breakups, especially when they are without any logical reason. But how would you distinguish between serious problems from minor ego clashes? How to get over them effectively and save a relationship? Here are 10 important steps, which will help you understand a situation, classify it and possibly try to rescue a relationship on the verge of breaking up.
- Decipher the Problem and Confront It
- Differentiate between serious problems and minor ego clashes
- Name the Problem
- Try and jot down the problems that you think need immediate attention
- Think about We in the Relationship
- List Your Concerns
- Communicate Effectively With Your Partner
- Be An Active Listener
- Avoid Yelling
- Work On Changing Together
What Is An Argument Or Fight
An argument is a disagreement, which you might have with your partner’s opinion. You might raise your voice, lose your temper or be intimidating. An argument always revolves around a principle or topic.
A fight is when you decide to place a personal attack. Emotional play is well attached to a fight, even though physical assault may not always be involved. Accusations and tantrums are frequently thrown too, although the issues may be even more deep rooted, than in an argument.
Do not under any circumstances, resort to physical assault and this is prescribed for both partners. It is very difficult to get things back in order, once you attack your partner physically.
Decipher the Problem and Confront It
You might feel detached from your partner due to various reasons. Time takes its toll, even on the most seasoned lovebirds. There is nothing to be ashamed or be upset about. Have you been thinking of someone new lately? Are you two getting into random fights? Less romance?
Differentiate Between Serious Problems And Minor Ego Clashes
Understanding the primary obstacles in a relationship is vital. Emotional or physical abuse needs to be dealt with strictly. Wasting time on repairing the situation may not seem to be the brightest idea at the moment, although, you must remember that you could be facing a similar situation with a new partner. Hence, classify between an argument and a real fight.
Name the Problem
Articulating your problems is an important step that you need to take, in order to begin discussions with your partner. Serious relationship conversations are required every once in a while. It is very easy to say things like, “I am angry and do not know why.” Why don’t you know the reason/s for your anger? Are you mentally retarded? Are you dumb? If not, you should have a valid reason, accounting for your activities or behavior.
Try And Jot Down The Problems That You think Need Immediate Attention
If you keep forgetting things, you must make a list of these points. Make a list of every occasion that you think is important and needs to be discussed. Your partner needs to know the reasons behind you being upset. If you do not convey the message, you should not expect them to read your mind.
Think About ‘We’ In the Relationship
Try and think about “we and us”, instead of “Me and I” every time you speak about yourselves. A relationship consists of two people and two people only! Live it as such.
If you had the powers to change things in your relationship, think about the various points that you would like to change in your relationship. This can be a very interesting exercise for you and would go a long way in distinguishing between the positive and negative sides of your relationship.
List Your Concerns
After prioritizing your concerns, make a list that needs immediate attention. Check your role in the relationship, along with your partner’s. Most importantly, be honest.
Do you feel vulnerable while sharing your secrets with your partner? Do you think it is better for both of you, to keep your secrets to yourself? If there are no chances of these secrets being leaked out from other sources and if they have no significant role to play in the relationship, you could consider keeping them to yourself. However, if your secrets do not adhere to either one of these criterions, you will need to discuss things with your partner.
Communicate Effectively With Your Partner
Failure to communicate results in various problems in a relationship. If you are not talking freely with your partner, problems are bound to arise. Make an appointment, if needed, but talk it out. Being busy with your individual lives is very common nowadays. Hence, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you do not get time to talk in a day. However, you should be ashamed, if you do not strive to do something about it.
Be An Active Listener
Look at your partner, while they are trying to communicate. Be an active member of the conversation and respond when asked to. Do not intrude and interrupt them in the middle of a conversation, as it could lead to repercussions. Be polite at all times, as your partner deserves respect.
If you are in the habit of raising your voice in the middle of a conversation, do not embarrass yourselves and get a private space for yourselves. Yelling in public is very embarrassing for both partners and need to be avoided at all costs.
Work On Changing Together
A relationship is a package deal, involving two people. Hence, every decision must be taken collectively. Understanding each other is hence of utmost importance. You must come to a mutually decisive outcome, in order to work things out. Both of you have problems and both need to iron them out simultaneously. Stop the blame game and take responsibility for your own actions.
Your relationship needs to take first priority: You want to know How To Save A Relationship On The Verge Of Breaking Up? Then you read that right! You need to prioritize your relationship. It went awry in the first place since both of you did not find enough time to spend together.
Complement each other, head out on dates, exchange gifts etc. Do whatever it takes to sort things out, as in the end your partner is the best thing to have ever happened to you. Make it count, or else, you will regret later.